As an ENTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal
with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you
take things in primarily via your intuition.
ENTJs are natural born leaders. They live in a world of possibilities where
they see all sorts challenges to be surmounted, and they want to be the ones
responsible for surmounting them. They have a drive for leadership, which is
well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a
large amount of impersonal information, and their quick and decisive judgements.
They are "take charge" people.
ENTJs are very career-focused, and fit into the corporate world quite
naturally. They are constantly scanning their environment for potential problems
which they can turn into solutions. They generally see things from a long-range
perspective, and are usually successful at identifying plans to turn problems
around - especially problems of a corporate nature. ENTJs are usually successful
in the business world, because they are so driven to leadership. They're
tireless in their efforts on the job, and driven to visualize where an
organization is headed. For these reasons, they are natural corporate leaders.
There is not much room for error in the world of the ENTJ. They dislike to
see mistakes repeated, and have no patience with inefficiency. They may become
quite harsh when their patience is tried in these respects, because they are not
naturally tuned in to people's feelings, and more than likely don't believe that
they should tailor their judgements in consideration for people's feelings.
ENTJs, like many types, have difficulty seeing things from outside their own
perspective. Unlike other types, ENTJs naturally have little patience with
people who do not see things the same way as the ENTJ. The ENTJ needs to
consciously work on recognizing the value of other people's opinions, as well as
the value of being sensitive towards people's feelings. In the absence of this
awareness, the ENTJ will be a forceful, intimidating and overbearing individual.
This may be a real problem for the ENTJ, who may be deprived of important
information and collaboration from others. In their personal world, it can make
some ENTJs overbearing as spouses or parents.
The ENTJ has a tremendous amount of personal power and presence which will
work for them as a force towards achieving their goals. However, this personal
power is also an agent of alienation and self-aggrandizement, which the ENTJ
would do well to avoid.
ENTJs are very forceful, decisive individuals. They make decisions quickly,
and are quick to verbalize their opinions and decisions to the rest of the
world. The ENTJ who has not developed their Intuition will make decisions too
hastily, without understanding all of the issues and possible solutions. On the
other hand, an ENTJ who has not developed their Thinking side will have
difficulty applying logic to their insights, and will often make poor decisions.
In that case, they may have brilliant ideas and insight into situations, but
they may have little skill at determining how to act upon their understanding,
or their actions may be inconsistent. An ENTJ who has developed in a generally
less than ideal way may become dictatorial and abrasive - intrusively giving
orders and direction without a sound reason for doing so, and without
consideration for the people involved.
Although ENTJs are not naturally tuned into other people's feelings, these
individuals frequently have very strong sentimental streaks. Often these
sentiments are very powerful to the ENTJ, although they will likely hide it from
general knowledge, believing the feelings to be a weakness. Because the world of
feelings and values is not where the ENTJ naturally functions, they may
sometimes make value judgements and hold onto submerged emotions which are
ill-founded and inappropriate, and will cause them problems - sometimes rather
serious problems.
ENTJs love to interact with people. As Extroverts, they're energized and
stimulated primarily externally. There's nothing more enjoyable and satisfying
to the ENTJ than having a lively, challenging conversation. They especially
respect people who are able to stand up to the ENTJ, and argue persuasively for
their point of view. There aren't too many people who will do so, however,
because the ENTJ is a very forceful and dynamic presence who has a tremendous
amount of self-confidence and excellent verbal communication skills. Even the
most confident individuals may experience moments of self-doubt when debating a
point with an ENTJ.
ENTJs want their home to be beautiful, well-furnished, and efficiently run.
They're likely to place much emphasis on their children being well-educated and
structured, to desire a congenial and devoted relationship with their spouse. At
home, the ENTJ needs to be in charge as much as he or she does in their career.
The ENTJ is likely best paired with someone who has a strong self-image, who is
also a Thinking type. Because the ENTJ is primarily focused on their careers,
some ENTJs have a problem with being constantly absent from home, physically or
mentally.
The ENTJ has many gifts which make it possible for them to have a great deal
of personal power, if they don't forget to remain balanced in their lives. The
are assertive, innovative, long-range thinkers with an excellent ability to
translate theories and possibilities into solid plans of action. They are
usually tremendously forceful personalities, and have the tools to accomplish
whatever goals they set out for.
ENTJs put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into their relationships. Since their
major quest in life is to constantly take in knowledge and turn that into
something useful, the ENTJ will try to turn everything into a learning
experience. Within the context of relationships, that means they will constantly
seek knowledge and revise the rules and definitions of their relationships. They
value their relationships highly, especially those relationships which present
them with new challenges and stimulate their learning. Such exchanges promote
genuine affection and satisfaction for the ENTJ. Relationships which do not
offer any chances for growth or learning hold no interest to the ENTJ. As in
other areas of life, the ENTJ likes to be in charge of their relationships. In
conversation, they are very direct and confrontational, and can be highly
critical and challenging towards others. People involved in close relationships
with the ENTJ need to have a good amount of personal strength. For those who do,
the ENTJ has a tremendous amount to offer.
ENTJ Strengths
- Genuinely interested in people's ideas and thoughts
- Enthusiastic and energetic
- Take their commitments very seriously
- Fair-minded and interested in doing the Right Thing
- Very good with money
- Extremely direct and straightforward
- Verbally fluent
- Enhance and encourage knowledge and self-growth in all aspects of life
- Able to leave relationships without looking back
- Able to turn conflict situations into positive lessons
- Able to take constructive criticism well
- Extremely high standards and expectations (both a strength and a weakness)
- Usually have strong affections and sentimental streaks
- Able to dole out discipline
ENTJ Weaknesses
- Their enthusiasm for verbal debates can make them appear argumentative
- Tendency to be challenging and confrontational
- Tend to get involved in "win-lose" conversations
- Tendency to have difficulty listening to others
- Tendency to be critical of opinions and attitudes which don't match their
own
- Extremely high standards and expectations (both a strength and a weakness)
- Not naturally in tune with people's feelings and reactions
- May have difficulty expressing love and affection, sometimes seeming
awkward or inappropriate
- Can be overpowering and intimidating to others
- Tendency to want to always be in charge, rather than sharing
responsibilities
- Can be very harsh and intolerant about messiness or inefficiency
- Tendency to be controlling
- May be slow to give praise or to realize another's need for praise
- If unhappy or underdeveloped, they may be very impersonal, dictatorial, or
abrasive
- Tendency to make hasty decisions
- May explode with terrible tempers when under extreme stress
ENTJs as Lovers
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the
positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment,
and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." --
Rollo May
ENTJs make aggressive, enthusiastic partners who take their commitments very
seriously. As in other aspects of their life, they want to be the leader in the
relationship, and take on responsibility for making things work. The are
creative leaders, and are likely to have relationships which promote constant
growth and learning. Since they are constantly scanning the environment for new
ideas and things worth learning, the ENTJ may frequently re-define the
"rules" of the relationship, although their commitment remains
constant. If it becomes very clear to them that the relationship no longer
offers any chance of growth or learning, the ENTJ will leave the situation, and
not look back.
ENTJs are usually very successful in their careers, and usually very good
with money. This is helpful in that it may remove a lot of the conflict which
couples generate over money matters, but it may become a problem if the ENTJ is
too much of a workaholic to spend time on the growth and development of the
relationship.
The ENTJ is not naturally in-tune with the feelings and emotions of their
partners. ENTJs who allow themselves time to be alone, and develop the
introspective "feeling" side of their natures, will be generally
"softer" individuals, who are more aware of their partners' emotional
needs. However, this awareness is almost always a conscious attempt on the part
of the ENTJ, rather than a naturally occuring characteristic. ENTJs who do not
make the attempt to be aware of others, and to value their feelings and
opinions, may find themselves in unbalanced relationships, where real
communication does not take place. These kinds of situations present a two-edged
sword to the ENTJ. They want to be in charge, but if they become so much in
charge as to stifle their partners, they will eventually become bored with the
relationship.
Sexually, the ENTJ is robust, imaginative and enthusiastic. Their natural
instinct to lead will be apparent in this arena as well as other areas of life,
and they will lead their partner on creative lovemaking adventures, where the
focus is on mutual learning and affection sharing. They're likely to expect sex
on a relatively scheduled basis.
The ENTJ does not usually have a problem with self-confidence and is not
especially emotionally needy. Although they enjoy being told that they are loved
and appreciated, they don't need to hear these types of avowals as often as most
other types. If they are partnered with a Feeling type, they are probably not
likely to fulfill their partner's needs for intimate words without conscious
effort. Even with effort, the ENTJ may have problems being aware of other's
emotional needs, and they most likely won't understand those needs even if they
are aware of them.
ENTJs approach conflict as an opportunity for growth and learning. This is a
very healthy outlook in general, but may be a problem in a close relationship
with a Feeling type. Individuals with the Feeling preference generally detest
conflict and criticism, and avoid it as one would avoid a deadly snake. The
ENTJs tendency to be confrontational may be very threatening to a person with a
Feeling preference - especially so if they are an intimate partner of the ENTJ.
An ENTJ who has a well-developed Feeling side may work well with a partner with
a Feeling preference. Otherwise, ENTJs will probably have the most successful
intimate relationships with types which prefer the Thinking process naturally,
or who are not extremely strong on the Feeling preference.
In general, the ENTJ has a lot to offer to their intimate relationships.
They're dedicated and enthusiastic, and willing to put forth a lot of effort to
make things work out. They take on responsibility and accountability, and expect
to be in charge. Their relationship will be one based on mutual respect,
constant growth and development.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy
relationship, ENTJ's natural partner is the INTP,
or the ISTP. AN ENTJ's
dominant function of Extraverted Thinking is best-matched with a personality
type that is dominanted by Introverted Thinking. The ENTJ/INTP match is ideal,
because it also shares the common Intuitive way of looking at the world, but the
ENTJ/ISTP match is also very good. How
did we arrive at this?
ENTJs as Parents
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent
forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran
ENTJs take their parenting role very seriously. They consider the task of
passing on their values and goals to their children as an objective fact - it is
something which will be done. They consider it their responsibility to make sure
that their child is constantly developing and learning in the most optimal way.
The ENTJ parent is usually rather strict, and has very high expectations of
their children.
As a parent, the ENTJ continuously promotes learning and independent
thinking. They pass on their love of knowledge to their children, and challenge
them at every turn to thoroughly understand their positions and perspectives.
They expect that their children will follow their lead. The ENTJ is in charge -
there can be no doubt about that. They expect their children to honor their
parents, and to follow the rules and procedures which are set forth for the
household. There is little room for error in those expectations, and the ENTJ
will be a harsh parental authoritarian when the rules are broken. The children
of an ENTJ usually know their place, and have a lot of respect for their ENTJ
parent.
During the teen years, we are likely to see a child rebel from their
relationship with the ENTJ. Although this situation is common with almost all of
the types, it is especially true for parents who are Extraverted Judging types.
Children growing into adults do not want to be controlled, and adults who are
used to controlling their children have a difficult time letting go. The ENTJ
parent would be wise to "loosen up" their hold a bit, as long as they
can do so without compromising what they feel to be right.
ENTJs who have not given themselves introspective time to develop the feeling
side of their nature frequently develop harsh, aggressive tendancies. Such an
ENTJ parent is prone to be something of a dictator - giving out orders
arbitrarily, and expecting them to be followed to a "T" without any
"back-talk". If continued over a long span of time, this kind of
behavior creates an oppressive environment for the child. An ENTJ can address
such tendancies by making time for introspection, and remembering to consciously
be aware of people's feelings.
ENTJs who have managed to avoid many of the problems associated with their
type are wonderful parental figures. They are remembered fondly and valued by
their children for challenging them at every turn, and thus promoting growth and
development. This type of knowledge seeking usually becomes a life-long habit
for their children, who turn into responsible and independent adults.
ENTJs as Friends
ENTJs are bright, energetic, sociable individuals who are keenly interested
in other people's ideas, theories and perspectives. They love nothing better
than to participate in quality conversation with other people who share similar
views to their own, or who have something new to teach the ENTJ. They make
stimulating, interesting, and dynamic friends and peers.
The ENTJ thoroughly enjoys lively, intellectual conversations - welcoming
such interaction as a learning opportunity for all parties involved. They have a
tendency to be direct and challenging when interacting with others, which tends
to put people on the defensive. This is in fact exactly what they're after - the
ENTJ wants to learn what you know, and understand as many of the nuances of your
knowledge as the context of the conversation will allow. They go after this
knowledge in a very direct, confrontational manner. With this approach, they
will learn not only the facts of the knowledge, but also the background of the
individual's stance on that piece of knowledge. How well does the individual
understand the topic? How invested is the individual in their stance? This
method of "unsettling" people has the effect of livening up
conversations and stimulating learning, when the other conversationalists are
able to easily withstand the interrogations of the ENTJ. People who are
uncomfortable with being challenged, or who are less than confident in the topic
being discussed, are likely to be subdued into not expressing themselves with
the ENTJ. This is a bit of a shame, since many people have valuable things to
offer, but are not always willing to stand on top of a mountain and strongly
shout their views to the world.
The ENTJ is likely to seek the company of people who have similar views and
interests to their own. They have no patience with people who have very
different lifestyles and perspectives from their own. However, as individuals
with a great deal of personal power, ENTJs are highly attracted to interacting
with other individuals with a powerful presence. They admire such people,
although they may not agree with them. ENTJs are likely to form their closer
friendships with other iNtuitives - especially Extraverted iNtuitives, such as
ENTJs, ENTPs, ENFJs, and ENFPs. The ENTJ will enjoy the other iNtuitives'
stimulating company, who share their enthusiasm for ideas and learning.